double delight

My aunt told me first about the "computer chips" in hybrid roses.

I was fairly new at keeping roses and had been given my own garden beside the house. As we admired them together one day, we observed the branch of odd, small, unscented blooms protruding from an otherwise picture perfect Double Delight.

“What is wrong with that branch?” I asked her.

“Now that is a good question,” she replied. “It would seem that this branch has lost its computer chip.”

What she meant was, the branch had lost its hybrid information from the rest of the plant. The Double Delight had been carefully engrafted and cultivated to produce its beautiful variety of red-laced, yellow blooms with sweet, pungent aroma. But for some reason, this single branch had strayed from its genes and reverted to some kind of wild, generic and rather unattractive growth.

The branch knew it was a rose. But it no longer knew it was a Double Delight.

I became a Christ-follower when I was very young. I know I am a Christian. I know many truths about God. I know many truths about His Word.

And I have believed to have believed them all.

Truly I have.

Until recently.

When I realized I haven’t believed them all.

I am guilty of the sin of unbelief.*

When one forgets, disregards, or rejects what is true about God, one is guilty of the sin of unbelief.

Some time ago, as our family headed out the door, little Molly, upon seeing she was last to get to the van, came flying down the stairs in tears, as though being chased by a predator. Upon questioning, she admitted to her fear that I might leave her behind!

Rather disturbed by this (wrong) assumption, I asked her if she knew me to be loving, caring, protective… She affirmed that yes, she knew this. Yet she disregarded what she knew to be true and believed I might actually leave her home alone.

Molly believed what was true about me, yet she had not personally applied that truth to herself.

It is one thing to know God. It is quite another thing to integrate that knowledge into personal belief.

Unbelief doesn’t show up on a sunny day. It is revealed in the rain, the wind, the flood, the dark. It is the antagonist of peace and contentment. It is the nourishment of coveteousness. It is the devil’s own poison, unnoticeably sprinkled into the daily diet of Christ-followers, designed to dull their appetites for Christ Himself.

I know God is always loving. I know He is always good. He is trustworthy, He is powerful, He is with me. But do I really believe this in my everyday life?

Have I integrated this truth practically into my heart and soul? Have I applied my knowledge of God to my most intimate being?

Let me give an example.

I know that God is sufficient. I believe Him to be more than enough.

Yes! I really believe that!

But…

how do I respond when there is no Valentine’s Day love note? What am I thinking when I see another child running happily into the arms of her daddy? What do I say when there is no one to share my heart with at the end of the day? Do I allow negative feelings to consume me?

Truly believing what God says about Himself, and applying that to my personal life,

is the root of contentment.

Contentment is one of the major marks of Christ-like maturity. It is the aroma of the Fruit of God’s Spirit at work in my life.

Discontent, on the other hand, dresses in the form of self-pity, bitterness, and coveteousness. It abuses with inward strife and turmoil. It defeats with anxiety and fear.

Discontent is the aroma of unbelief.

And unbelief is sin.

The knowledge of God must connect with a personal application of that knowledge. I must talk to myself all day, every day about Who God is, what He is really like, what He really says…and how that applies to me. This takes labor and effort. This takes intentionality and pursuit. Much intentional time is required by my mind to saturate my thinking with these truths, integrating them into my daily living.

What does this look like for real? Can I transfer the mere knowledge of “God is more than enough” to my thoughts at the kitchen sink?

Lord, You are always more than enough! Always! Your Word says “I will behold Your face in righteousness: I shall be satisfied when I awake, with Your likeness” (Psalm 17:15). Your Word says “You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11). 

I praise You that You are always more than enough, and because You are, I will be content with sharing my heart with You in this lonely evening…

Hallelujah! I have found Him,

Whom my soul so long has craved!

Jesus satisfies my longings,

by His blood I now am saved!*

This is integrated saturation—the heartbeat of belief. And belief, the sustenance of contentment.

A Double Delight is a rose. But it’s not just any rose. It’s a Double Delight! If that knowledge is not integrated into the genetics of the entire bush, it will not continue as a Double Delight. If it does not saturate itself in its own DNA, it will deviate from it. Eventually, it will be given over to its wild self…still a rose bush, but devoid of its intended beauty.

It is one thing to know God. It is quite another thing to know God. We were intended to be Double Delights! Integrate, saturate, meditate on Him and His Truth until unshakeable peace and contentment become the fragrant blooms bringing pleasure and testimony to the Gardener Himself.

Recently, another of my hybrid roses began to lose its “computer chip.” One rogue branch appeared. Then another and another. Unlike our Perfect Gardener, I was too busy to prune away the “unbelieving” branches and soon, the entire bush was converted to rogue branches covered in small, unattractive, scentless blooms that resembled nothing of its original genes. At this unrecoverable point, all that remained was to dig up the bush and toss it into the compost pile, consumed by its unintended unbelief.

“Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

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“Live slowly enough to be able to think deeply about God.”

J.I. Packer

*Hebrews 3:12

*From the hymn “Satisfied” by Clara Tear Williams (1875)